Its not very common for moms to talk about their postpartum journey a year in but even though It’s been a year.  There are still so many things about a women’s postpartum journey that never really ends. It just changes with time; it gets a little better and easier, but it all requires steps and processes.

We just celebrated Freya’s first birthday this month and it is as emotional as it sounds! The high, the lows, the memories, the growth, and the changes we experience the last one year has been monumental to say the least! The last 1 year was her biggest growth spurt any human gets to experience until puberty hits.

There is this sense of achievement that we as parents has conquered in the first year of parenthood and our baby has evolved into a happy and thriving one year old. And these are 5 things I have learnt as a mom.

Hold your baby as long as you can and as long as you want because as annoying as those mom-sayers say; ‘nights are long, but the years are short’. It is annoyingly true. I wish I hold my baby longer when she was a newborn, but I know that that’s coming from a place where I miss her being an newborn and not because I didn’t hold her enough.

Raging hormones are a real thing. Whether is it lots of tears, anger and just tears of joy. It is insane the number of emotions we go through in a day. Take it as it comes and don’t sweat the small stuff. Let the emotions come because it will and just like it will come. It will also pass. I didn’t cry as much as I thought I would but I definitely was angry a lot. I was mad and frustrated about the small stuff a lot because I wanted to do more, I wanted to be more as a mom, I wanted it all and I wanted it NOW. But I’ve learnt it was irrational of me and it was coming from a place of mom guilt.

Oh! The mom guilts. It was literally shoved into me the day I pushed Freya out. It was like here is your baby but here is all the guilt you will experience for being a woman that birth a child. Mom guilt never ends as annoying as it is. The mom guilt kicks into full gear anytime and any moment you don’t want it to. You work too much, or you don’t work enough, you spend soo much time with your baby or you don’t spend enough time with your baby. It all soo minute. You can have it all, do it all and it still wouldn’t be enough because mom guilt isn’t even about that. Its psychological and the only way out is self-love, discipline and ignoring the negative talk.

• The diastatic recti. Every woman and client I ‘ve met are the most worried about their abdominal muscles splitting into the 2 corners of the room. Okay, I am exaggerating. But there is this real fear having the abdominal muscles not going back to its original state postpartum. Diastasis recti is a common condition in pregnant and postpartum individuals. However, diastasis recti is not the end of the world and it is avoidable and fixable. I will always be the advocate in exercising throughout your pregnancy, and even in the near future you don’t know if you ever want to have kids. Go lift some weights! Our core strength is more than just the superficial abdominal walls. It is the trunk tension that supports our spine, organs and muscles. My abs isn’t the same pre-natal but it is stronger than it is today than it was yesterday. Soo many mamas I know have abs postpartum and honestly thought they will never have 6-pack again after having a baby. To be fair, I was worried too but knowing what to do and exercises to modify help me gain the confidence in training again and just keeping the work week by week.

• Practicing self-love. I am still trying to love my postpartum body today the same way I am learning to love it 1 month postpartum. No matter how it looked I was constantly comparing myself to the pre-baby me. My negative self-talk was always; ‘my body looked better pre-baby’ and I hated myself more after that. That vicious cycle was soo toxic that I had to really intervene on myself, ‘No! my body birth my baby, it is perfect pre-baby and even more perfect today’. A wellness coach told me to put MY baby photo in on the mirror and repeat my mantra as I put on my makeup everyday . But instead, I put the photo of the day I gave birth and I stare at her every morning and night with grace and softness.

My mantra is: ‘I am stronger because of you’

I know this postpartum journey will continue but it is changing again as my baby enters into the toddler era. But the last 1 year has been magical, hard, and so special. I miss it all already and there are moments that I wish I can do it all again but also every time I look at her little face, I cannot wait to watch her flourish and learn more as every day goes by.