Are We Ever Ready?

When are you having kids? Do you have good news? Why are you waiting? You’re not getting any younger.

I believe most women get asked this question all too often even if she isn’t married but have been with a long-time partner. It’s a very common question, when are you having kids. But also, an extremely sensitive question to some. I got asked the most during Chinese new year, Christmas and at every Chinese gathering you can think of especially if it was a birthday celebration for my cousins 3rd baby. When are you going to have kids ah ah girl?

Times are slowly changing and I find that friends, peers and outsiders don’t ask me these questions as often as I thought they would or my expectations are real low.

But the real question is; are WE ready to be parents. Deciding when we are ready to start trying is something very personal and as I am writing this. It is all still very new to me, so bear with me and thank you for your grace.

The opportunity to bring life into this world is a miracle and a blessing but the realist in me is screaming inside. Why would I want to bring anything into this world full of hate, selfishness and social media. Then, I also wonder will my journey to parenthood be easy or difficult or the biggest challenge I will ever have in my life. But this is the part we have to let go and let god.

Are we ready to create life in the middle of our world’s circumstances?

As Matt and I continue to build our life as individuals and as a couple, expanding our family has always been on our minds. We know we have soo much love to give just looking at each of us open our hearts so easily and readily for every fosters that has walked through our door. We know we will love our tiny human soo fiercely and with everything that we got.

Matt has never rushed me to have tiny humans and it was always going to be my decision of when I am ready. When I turned 30 last year, something also flipped a switch for me. Some will tell me, I am old I need to start trying this second. Some will tell me, you still have time, in your thirties is where we thrive as women. But the truth is there is never a right age to do anything. When are YOU ready?

I think it is ok to NOT to want to have tiny humans too, but always have it communicated with your partner and never lie to yourself if you already know exactly what you want in life.

There are some q’s that come to mind when thinking about whether I’m “ready”:

Are we emotionally ready?

Are we financially ready?

Am I physically ready?

Am I ready for my body to change?

Are we ready for our routine to change?

Are we ready to give up sleep?

Are we ready for our priorities to change?

Are we ready to create life in the middle of our world’s circumstances?

Am I ready to accept that I can’t keep our children safe in a bubble their whole lives?

There are still soo many other questions and soo many unknowns. Being ready for me meant ticking all the boxes above and I have many different boxes to tick for many different things I do in life; moving to a new city, bikini competitions, a job, a race, teaching a class, taking on new projects and the list goes on. It helps with my control freak mind stay calm in tough times.

You might not be in a place in life right now where talking about having tiny humans is a priority. Maybe it’s just taking on a new role at work and leaving your old life behind? Are you ready? Truth is we are never ready for anything for real. When I did my first bikini competition, was I truly deeply ready? No. I was not. But I did it anyway and learn with every mistake I made and fall with every step I took. Did I die? No. Was there some embarrassing moments? Sure. But I learnt, I survived and I thrived. I went on and did 5 other shows the following year! 😊

Sometimes being ready really means “being ready to take on whatever comes our way on this journey to and through parenthood with whatever life throws at you”.

Just my 2 cent in this shiny new month of a coin.

Peace out lovers!

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